Sunday, September 12, 2010

Schadenfreude

I've known since May, easily, that when SlutBitch (Ex-Boyfriend's wife) finishes her AIT training, she and Ex Boyfriend would be stationed somewhere that isn't the town we all lived in.

I've been apprehensive about this- what if I get a rockin' job somewhere only to find out after I've moved that Ex Boyfriend is living on the nearby Army base? We could run into eachother at the movies (awkward)! I could be on a date and they walk into the same restaurant (super awkward)! She uses my firm to initiate divorce proceedings (awkward, unlikely, but almost hopeful)!

Well, he texted me the other day to let me know that SlutBitch was already told where she'd be stationed:

KOREA.

All I can say is thank GOD he didn't actually call me to tell me this because oh lordy, I was laughing.

Ex Boyfriend does not speak Korean. He hates seafood, veggies and pretty much any Asian food that isn't beef lo mein or orange chicken (ie, everything in Korea). He will have no friends except his wife. He won't be able to go to school like he had planned (snort), and he has no jobs skills outside of glorified babysitting.

Essentially, he will be able to do nothing with his day except clean house, work out, play video games, and cook dinner for SlutBitch.

His life is going down in flames, and I am happily watching it burn.

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