While I was completing my undergrad degree, I formed a strong relationship with some of my professors, to the point that now 9two years after graduating) I still stop by to say hi and chill with them.
This past Wednesday, I was on campus to hijack the free printing from the computer lab for a ridiculously long supplement for one of my law classes. 60 pages, using my ink and paper? Um, no.
Once I had safely printed the document and escaped unnoticed, I stopped by my Linguistics professor's office to say hi.
She asked how my sister's wedding went. I told her it was lovely.
She asked how That Boy was. I told her the truth.
She was all that was kind and understanding. Except not.
She got excited, jumped up and down in her chair and asked, "Can I say it? Oh please let me say it!" followed by an exuberant, childish chant of "I told you so, I told you so!"
Yeah. Not quite what I wanted, but everything I was expecting. See, Linguistics Professor saw me when Ex Boyfriend dumped me the first time three years ago. She knew that I had tried to kill myself and how utterly lost I was.
She saw how hard it was for me to pick myself back up. She saw me graduate despite that setback. She knew how much I wanted it to work.
Still, she redeemed herself (after a few more "I told you so's" slipped out) by commenting that she was happy for me.
And you know what? She really was. She has always believed that I was too good for Ex Boyfriend, that I deserved better. In addition to being happy for me, she also said that she coudl tell that I was happy. Not "oh, I'm doing so so but I'll stick a smile on my face" happy, but honestly happy.
And she's right. I am happy. Not 'the sky is blue and bird are singing oh joy!' happy, but at peace with myself happy. Though I very much loved Ex Boyfriend (and cliche as it is, part of me always will), I'm happier without him. I don't feel like I have to answer to another person if I want to go out with friends. I don't have to feel bad if a guy expresses interest in me. I no longer plan to live in a state I never want to be in just to be with his dead end self.
I really am happy.