Surprise!

I'm back. Where have I been?
...
...
everywhere?

To the surprise of no one (but the disappointment of me), Ex Boyfriend did not, in fact, pay me back in full like he promise. Nor did he send me a debit card like he then suggested.

He sent cash. Once. Then, three months later, a PayPal payment.

I know. I know. I should cut my losses, yes? But please- we're talking several grand here. It's going to take much sacrifice and the rest of this year to pay off in full the credits cards he ran up in my name. Is it really so wrong to squeeze him for some cash while I fix that problem? I thought not.

"But wait!" you say. "You work part time at a crappy dry cleaner! How can you afford to pay off two credit cards in one year?" WELL! HA!

I got fired from the dry cleaner. That was lame. REALLY REALLY lame. Yet, one month later (February- I got axed right after Christmas. Lamexlame), after continuous job hunting, I landed a super sweet gig at an oil&gas company as the file clerk/data entry/office bitch.
May I just say, yay? Full time, benefits, about $24K a year, and my own OFFICE! With walls! And a desk!

"Well, ok, that's great," you say, "but is that all you do now? Work?"
Of course not! I'm still continuing with my paralegal classes- who knows where I'll end up? Always good to have a wide range of legit skills.
I also (somehow, strangely) developed a social life. I know, me too! But more and more, people were like "we should totally hang out!" and I was like "sure <3" and then MORE hanging out happened (and drinking. yum), and then I was TRAVELING and now I'm all like "wait, let me see if I'm free *teehee*".

It's bewildering. I'm clinging to it like a cat to a person above a tub of water. ME GUSTA.

"Well gee, that's fantastic!" you say. I must agree, truly. In addition to all that awesome, I'm (finally...) losing my breakup weight! God bless WeightWatchers. It works. I've lost almost 10lbs.

Oh damn. Here comes the snark.

"Well, that's all good and lovely," you begin snippily, " but it's been over a year since you got your ass dumped... and yo're still single? Mmm, so sad..."

Whatever bitch. THAT is for another post ^.~

Letter to my past self

Dear Kim of 2007,

I'm sorry. You suffered because the strength you'll have in the future isn't there for you in your present. When that Jerk said he didn't know who he wanted to be with, I wish I could go back and speak for you. I could have told him then what I know now: Let him choose her. You deserved someone who you didn't have to share, not like that. I wish you could have been able to tell him that if he chose her, he would lose you forever, because he isn't worthy of having you. Past Self, anyone who would keep you on the side while he's off loving someone else can't truly love anyone. I wish I could go back and tell you how much better your life becomes when you realize that you're free.

Also, Thank you. Thank you for surviving those years and for taking all that happened and channeling it into making yourself stronger. You would be amazed at who you become and how you face the world in four years.

I know you'll be looking for someone in your future, because I am now. Don't worry- we will find that person who doesn't ask us to share, who loves us as we deserve to be loved.

-Kim of 2011